I am posting this a day early because we are moving, and I may not have access to my computer tomorrow. I have also change my first song on my playlist in memory of them. This is not intended to make you sad but help you all remember them and who they were. Please share your thoughts and memories as we remember Michael Richard Pender Sr., and Michael Richard Pender Jr.
On this day in 1985 my Father and oldest brother were in a car accident that took there lives. I was three and at the time could not even begin to comprehend what death meant or what it even was. Throughout the years I struggled with the way to handle the emotions I felt as the reality of growing up without a Father manifested itself. I never got angry. I never felt terribly sad. I from very early on never really felt like I lost them. I struggled with this while my sisters and brother would talk about how life would be different if he was here and if they never left us. I am sure that is true but I never had those feelings. I did not understand unitl the day I was married why it was so easy for me to put those emotions aside and not grieve them. I was kneeling across the alter looking into my future husbands eyes. He was looking at me with a smile on his face and as we both said yes I looked into the mirror behind him and there standing in the room with us was my father Michael R. Pender Sr. and standing next to him was my brother Michael R. Pender Jr. It was then that all the emotions I had felt throughout the years came flooding back and i knew. This life is a blib in the whole scheme of things. I get them forever. Now do not get me wrong. I miss them terribly and cry when I miss them or feel them near. Whenever I feel lonely or lost or happy I feel them with me. I never have had a day go by that they have not been with me. Its crazy to because I do not remember them. They re in my memory the way they looked in 85. But I feel that they are still here everyday and when I need a friend or have a moment when I need my Dad he is there.
Please help me remember them and celebrate not only them in this life but that we all get to live together with them again and share all the memories we made together hear and make new ones with them in eternity.
4 comments:
Thanks for posting about your dad and Michael. I think it is really hard for us to remember them, we were so young. I just remember the day it happened, which to me is kind of odd, cause I have no other memories. But I remember we couldn't get to California fast enough. I am so thankful we have the church in our lives, and that we will be together with them forever. Like I told pea, I am looking forward to meeting them and look forward to making memories with all of us their together as a family. Can you imagine the family reunion we will all have, what an exciting day I am looking forward to.
Wow! That was awesome. I don't have any memories of them becuase they passed a little while before I was born. I told Pea on her blog that my mom says I must have said Hi to them on my way down as they were coming home. She said they were probably getting me all excited about meeting all of you! Their life and death, even though I never knew them, has still impacted me in a huge way and that is mostly because of how you all have kept them alive. I love you're family so much!!! Thanks for the post. :)
Just know I see parts of each of them in each of you. Your dad always called you Krissy, and you were his little shadow back then. You would scrinch up that little nose of yours and he'd laugh and tickle you even more. I don't really remember a day when your whole family wasn't happy. You guys had a little heaven on earth. No things didn't always go the way they were planned, but you were always a happy family. It was magic to be around your mom and dad.
This is difficult for me, because when it comes to writing about them, the feelings run deep and sacred.
I could write a book I guess,but I will echo what Chronicler said and add the following.
Your family was happy. You mom was happy. Your dad was a lap dog around her, meaning all he needed was for her to look at him and he would jump and dance and sing and do whatever she wanted him to do. They were perfect together. He was, to me, the perfect dad. He loved to entertain you all, to make you smile, giggle, feel secure and loved.
You would have more than likely been poor because he was too generous to save a dime. It didn't seem to bother any of you. Life was worth living when it came to your family.
He was patriotic, passionate, and a tad silly. You know how talented he was and he could do impromptu songs, stories or poetry as easily and clever as Wayne Brady, maybe better, and I am not exaggerating, he was that good!
Little Michael was sweet and kind and gentle. He giggled and had a quick smile. He was deep for his age and then some. It breaks my heart still thinking of him.
All in all you nailed it when you said you have them for eternity. That is what it's all about.
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