I use to pride myslef on not being a jealous person. I grew up being la dee da about everything and not taking anything to seriously or letting things get to me. I have been married for three years and I find that it gets harder and harder to not get jealous around my in-law family.
Now do not get me wrong, because as far as in-laws go I got the best. I have always gotten along with them, well most of the time, and there has never been any huge fights or disagreements. Now that the disclossure has been discuss I have juat recently began to have feeling of jealously when it comes to the other girls in the family.
My husband comes from a famliy of four boys so the girls in our family are married into it. This year we have added two. I have been very lucky and have and I believe will always get along with them both. I have known one for three years and have grown to adore her and we have become good friends. The other one we just met this year and she is also amazing and I love her. But I have had a hard time sharing my family. it is so ridiculous that I am having this issue and I am not quite sure what to do with it but I am pretty sure it needs to go away.
I have just recently found out that my mother-in-law goes to movies and dinner with just the girls on an individual basis and I have never done that with her. I have also in the last couple of months seen how well she gets along with the other two and I feel like me relationship is not as good with her. Know on my mother-in-laws defense becasue this is not at all about her, it is all about me, I have know her for 10 years. She was my Young Women leader in church I have served under her in church in my callings and have gone to girls camp with her for years so maybe she justs feels like we know everything about each other all ready. She does so much for me and so do my sister-in-laws it crazy that I am having these feelings. Every time we are all together I find myself constantly watching for signs that They really do not like me and that becasue they now have two more girls they can just toss me aside. I get really self conscience and constantly doubt my self and how great I am. I know that this comes from a crazy place and that I need to stop this feelings but it feels like everytime I think about it, it gets worse and worse. I pray everyday that it will go away and hope that it does soon.
2 comments:
s'mee said...
ugh. O.k. I married into an Ozzie and Harriet love fest (8 kids--yeow!). There are two things you can do: Talk with your m-i-l about all the whys and hows. There may be an actual reason, or she may not even know she is blowing you off.
Another road is to invite yourself and just pretend that is o.k. because, yes, you married her offspring and it is your right to be included, or the third route is to just sit back and be nice and accept what it is.
At first I felt like "o.k. this is cool. Great family. I'm in!" After a while I began to notice the differences in treatment of siblings and sibling spouses. I still think there are times when I will NEVER fully belong to this family in my m-i-l's eyes. Like the time when she asked me to set up a pro-photo shoot for "family" photos. "Sure!" Then I realized on the day of the shoot that none of the "non-blood" children (read anyone who didn't shoot forth from her personal womb) would be in said "family" photo. It still stings to this day.
However, she has come to my aid more often than not, trusted in me and defended me to others, yada yada yada; and frankly, I trust as if she were my own mother.
It is what it is.
Post a Comment