Three simple yet so powerful words. They change any mood to happiness. they make a smile appear through tears. They make someone feel wanted and needed. And yet even with this knowledge they are so often not said. We walk through our lives with the assumption that because we say it every so often those that we love know that we love them and it does not need to be said. Maybe some believe that the phrase "I Love You", has been taken for granted for years and said when it was not truely meant and so it has lost some of its value. Or maybe it is just that people feel if said to much the recipient may start to get accustomed to it and it will start to loose its full potential. Those outside of relationships where it has been said may be sacred and feel that it will not be said in return. In any case I urge everyone who feels it to say it as often as they feel necessary. It is a phrase that if said is never regretted. But if left unsaid is almost always regretted.
I use to pride myslef on not being a jealous person. I grew up being la dee da about everything and not taking anything to seriously or letting things get to me. I have been married for three years and I find that it gets harder and harder to not get jealous around my in-law family.
Now do not get me wrong, because as far as in-laws go I got the best. I have always gotten along with them, well most of the time, and there has never been any huge fights or disagreements. Now that the disclossure has been discuss I have juat recently began to have feeling of jealously when it comes to the other girls in the family.
My husband comes from a famliy of four boys so the girls in our family are married into it. This year we have added two. I have been very lucky and have and I believe will always get along with them both. I have known one for three years and have grown to adore her and we have become good friends. The other one we just met this year and she is also amazing and I love her. But I have had a hard time sharing my family. it is so ridiculous that I am having this issue and I am not quite sure what to do with it but I am pretty sure it needs to go away.
I have just recently found out that my mother-in-law goes to movies and dinner with just the girls on an individual basis and I have never done that with her. I have also in the last couple of months seen how well she gets along with the other two and I feel like me relationship is not as good with her. Know on my mother-in-laws defense becasue this is not at all about her, it is all about me, I have know her for 10 years. She was my Young Women leader in church I have served under her in church in my callings and have gone to girls camp with her for years so maybe she justs feels like we know everything about each other all ready. She does so much for me and so do my sister-in-laws it crazy that I am having these feelings. Every time we are all together I find myself constantly watching for signs that They really do not like me and that becasue they now have two more girls they can just toss me aside. I get really self conscience and constantly doubt my self and how great I am. I know that this comes from a crazy place and that I need to stop this feelings but it feels like everytime I think about it, it gets worse and worse. I pray everyday that it will go away and hope that it does soon.
I am not by any means a fantastic writer but would like to try to be better. This is going to be the way I do that. Whenever I feel a burst of inspiration of the need to vent I am going to do it here. I also find that I gain patience by understanding and feel that the more I try to understand things the more I become aware of different aspects and views of certain situations. This is my way of also gaing patience.
